SLAMGAUGE

I spent many of the Sundays in my younger years in a church.
I sat on the hard wooden benches and stared at the poorly bound
and decaying green hymn books before me. I gave god a chance.

I lost faith.

I have spent many days and nights draining myself in an attempt
to fill a void in the soul of a woman I cared deeply about. I waited
while they went out and got extremely drunk, slept with other men and
did fuck knows what else. They would come home and go strait to the
bath in an attempt to clean the filth from their soul...
And I would have a bubble bath drawn for them. But each and every
one of them are gone now.

I lost faith.

Faith can be a very useful and constructive tool of the spirit.
Faith can scrape the cataracts from our yellow and hazy third eye.
Faith can suck every last god damned ounce of life from your
god forsaken body.
The wonderful thing about faith is that it is so easy to loose.
My faith can disappear as quickly as I can hang up a phone or
hit the send button on an email.
Any given holiday...
Any given conversation, or lack thereof.
A kiss...
A slap...
An orgasm...
A death...
...and my faith is just gone.

It has been said that religion is the opiate of the masses...but that is wrong.
Religion is just a way to package faith.
Like a wedding ring.
Like your mothers embrace.
Like a new years kiss......
Faith is the opiate.
And just like the ring slides off the finger and your mother gets buried after she dies,
faith slips away into a memory like the euphoric pleasure of a junkies high.

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White Noise - Black Heart

I am starting something new. I will be posting some recording of me
reading my writings. These will all be posted under the catagory "Spoken Thoughts".

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The Long Fall Down

The creepy ethereal intro was done with some bowed glass samples that I have since lost from a hard drive failure. Later I let a friend of mine, Deon, lay down some rap vocals over the top that fit the murderous vibe of the track very well.

So many people in our society have thin skin.
Why do we all take ourselves so seriously?
Tragedy and comedy are not opposite ends of a
pendulum, they are more like stripes on a spinning
barber pole.
It seems that a very small portion of society
is capable of seeing that when some situation
has the potential to be very tragic it also has the
potential to be incredibly funny.
They fail to see how
emotionally and logically vulnerable
they are because of this incapability.
And yet, even though those like me are
outnumbered
we are still the predators.
A little devil in me squeals with delight whenever
some poor person takes the bait of my facetious
comments like a fly caught in a spiderweb, exposing
a jugular vein of emotional vulnerability.
What else is there to do but drink?

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